Tag Archives: Relationships

About Last Night’s Screw Up

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So, last night I had an ultimate screw up. I was in the kitchen cooking with the kids, after taking them to the grocery store & playing referee between my 10 & 3 year old. I heard the door open & glanced at the time. It was too soon. I knew something was amiss.

My man does not usually get home prior to 6. As he walked into the kitchen, he looked at me and said “Kidney stone”. I rolled my eyes and said “Really?”

Bad move. I finished making dinner & my man offered to do the dishes and clean up. I resisted a little & then I let him. As I went into my room for a few minutes, I was gazing at one of my gorgeous crystals. And it hit me. “I fucked up.”

I went upstairs and immediately apologized to Michael. He then said he noticed my eye rolling earlier. I felt like an ass. I then apologized again & told him how I felt. I was ready for someone to take care of me for a minute. Between my husband’s heart surgery 6 months ago, my daughter waking up in the middle of the night, my man being sick, taking time off my business to spend with the family, I was exhausted. So the last thing I wanted to hear was “kidney stones”.

That’s when I caught myself. I was making it all about “ME”. How his pain was hurting ME. I was playing the victim.

So, I made it about HIM. For the rest of the night, I took care of the girls, got them ready for bed and was as my husband exclaimed, “The Best Housewife Ever”. < – – – That title made me cringe, but I know what he meant.

Here’s the 3 simple, yet powerful tips you can use when you inevitably screw up.

I have to admit, this awareness & mindset is a HUGE step for me from the person I was just a few years ago. I am a Scorpio & we are known to hold grudges & stubbornness is our game. I would stay mad for days (I also picked up this habit as a kid, watching my parents). I would always find a reason & justify my point, even when, deep down inside, I knew I was wrong.

That life was exhausting. I would forget why I was mad, BUT still continue to be mad … How insane is that?

The silver lining?? Now I realize all bumps along the way was part of my journey.

It is my story to tell. I did the work & now I get to enjoy my remarkable life. I have a whole new level of happiness that Prosaic cannot touch. Believe me. I tried it. 

It enables me to help my clients in a powerful way to claim their happiness. Their Effortless Life.

Here’s to your Effortless Life!

– Sending You Love, Light & Oodles of Positive Vibes!

Indrani

Are you ready to design a life you are Obsessed with?

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Now That You Got Him, How Do You Keep Him?

 

How to Keep Your ManEarlier I wrote an article called, “How I Manifested My Soul mate As a Divorced Mom.” When it was published via The Elephant Journal, I was flooded with comments from other women that went through the same thing I did, OR they were stuck in their situation and my words gave them inspiration and hope that they, too, could manifest their soul mate. It was a life changing moment for me. I was moved to tears when I realized my story was able to touch so many women. If you haven’t seen the article, check it out here.

So. You’ve manifested your soulmate. Now that you got him, how do you keep him?

This is a loaded question that really needs to be discussed. With the divorce rate and extra martial affairs at a staggering rate, it’s a smart idea to be real and take action.

1. Give it up.

Men have needs. And if those needs are not being met at home, where are they being met? Now, I am not saying that he is cheating, but I am saying that most men have a pretty good sex drive. So, even if he is not cheating, how happy is he? Yes, men can take care of themselves, but after a while, that gets old. So, give him some attention, make him feel appreciated and valued for all the things he does. And of course, give him some good lovin’! Don’t believe me? Check out this article about why men cheat. And, let’s not forget, this is all good for you as well. Research shows people that have sex 3-4 times a week are happier and more successful in life!

2. Give him something to talk about.

Men are visual creatures so work it! I want my husband to find me just as attractive as when we were dating. Now, I am not getting dolled up daily, but you bet your ass I am wearing comfy and sexy clothes that show off the goods. I flirt with him daily. And he loves it. He is all over me 24/7. I love it. It keeps it fun and playful. He, in turn, is motivated to look good for me. We have as much chemistry as we did 16 years ago when we were dating. It’s rad! Our daughters get grossed out with our affection and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So, toss those old sweats and invest five minutes a day to get it together. And you know what? You will feel better too! Need a little help? All of the pieces in the Effortless Life Boutique are comfy, chic & quality essentials that you and your man will love!

3. Give him a break.

I know how this may sound. If I read that line when I was in my previous marriage, I would probably be giving my computer the finger right about now. But, trust me! I’ve been through the bickering, the “tit for tat” crap. It blows. Why is it that we are so cordial with strangers and coworkers and give them the benefit of the doubt, but we can be downright evil to the ones we love? It’s crazy. And it’s time we change it. I have been practicing mindfulness and being in the flow state. Where things things magically come together and life is effortless most of the time. I have to say, it has been amazing. I have stopped making the sarcastic, unneeded jabs at my husband because I realize it only made matters worse. I am now aware and think about what I am about to say. (And sometimes I still don’t give a rat’s ass and I say it anyway.) Most of the time though, I just keep mum. It’s not worth it. My comments from the peanut gallery will not help our relationship.

And you know what? My husband has changed as well. We had a great relationship and it is even better now, because our “disagreements” are diffused much more quickly. By giving him a break, he in turn is doing the same for me unknowingly.

This has helped with our “arguments” immensely. Check out my post on The best non-fight we have ever had in our marriage for more.

4. Have F-U-N.

Let’s face it, we get caught up in life and everything else we have going on. Focusing on one another can be a challenge. Connection is so important to a lasting marriage. When it is all about the kids, work and the bills, the marriage can really suffer. So carve out time to spend together. Sometimes we will wait to eat until the kids go to bed. We make dinner together, sit at the table and talk for hours. It is incredibly romantic. It is an affordable, fun and effortless option for parents. Take a few minutes and dress up for the dinner date (See tip 2!). It adds a special touch and trust me, he will notice. Take time to re-invest in your marriage by really enjoying each other. It reminds you why you fell in love with your man. Gratitude is so important in creating a happier life overall. I use my daily gratitude log and it is gold. It gets me to focus on the present, the things that really matter and the people in my life I am grateful for. By focus on all the amazing things my man does on a daily basis has been amazing for our marriage. Get your gratitude on and download your gratitude log here. It’s a game changer.

5. Let him be.

I had a hard time with this one. And yes, there are still things I am working on with my man. But they are not character traits. It is more of the bodily functions forum. (I’ll leave it at that.) I know who I married. He is a sports guy. He is also really social. So, why would I change that? Obviously with kids things change, but I don’t want that to take away the things he is passionate about. Our relationship thrives when we both are able to have the freedom to take time and do us. We appreciate each other so much more.

Now, remember, you get more with sugar than salt. Ask yourself, “Would I rather be happy or would I rather be right?” If it is the latter, then:

  1. I am shocked you are still reading this.
  2. In my past marriage I was all about being right. And just because you are right, does not guarantee long-term happiness. Yeah, your ego may be happy, but your marriage could suffer. I’m checking ego at the door.

So, there you have it. Men are really not that complicated. If we take care of them and they love us, they will take care of us.

It is empowering to take the first step!

What are your tips to keep your man? Sharing is caring! Comment below and let us know what works in your world!

If you are ready to take action to create the life you deserve, I invite you to schedule a discovery consultation with me. We can get clear on where you are, where you want to be and I’ll provide strategies to close the gap. It’s magical.

Sending you tons of Love & oodles of Light!!

-Xx

Indrani