Earlier I wrote an article called, “How I Manifested My Soul mate As a Divorced Mom.” When it was published via The Elephant Journal, I was flooded with comments from other women that went through the same thing I did, OR they were stuck in their situation and my words gave them inspiration and hope that they, too, could manifest their soul mate. It was a life changing moment for me. I was moved to tears when I realized my story was able to touch so many women. If you haven’t seen the article, check it out here.
So. You’ve manifested your soulmate. Now that you got him, how do you keep him?
This is a loaded question that really needs to be discussed. With the divorce rate and extra martial affairs at a staggering rate, it’s a smart idea to be real and take action.
1. Give it up.
Men have needs. And if those needs are not being met at home, where are they being met? Now, I am not saying that he is cheating, but I am saying that most men have a pretty good sex drive. So, even if he is not cheating, how happy is he? Yes, men can take care of themselves, but after a while, that gets old. So, give him some attention, make him feel appreciated and valued for all the things he does. And of course, give him some good lovin’! Don’t believe me? Check out this article about why men cheat. And, let’s not forget, this is all good for you as well. Research shows people that have sex 3-4 times a week are happier and more successful in life!
2. Give him something to talk about.
Men are visual creatures so work it! I want my husband to find me just as attractive as when we were dating. Now, I am not getting dolled up daily, but you bet your ass I am wearing comfy and sexy clothes that show off the goods. I flirt with him daily. And he loves it. He is all over me 24/7. I love it. It keeps it fun and playful. He, in turn, is motivated to look good for me. We have as much chemistry as we did 16 years ago when we were dating. It’s rad! Our daughters get grossed out with our affection and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So, toss those old sweats and invest five minutes a day to get it together. And you know what? You will feel better too! Need a little help? All of the pieces in the Effortless Life Boutique are comfy, chic & quality essentials that you and your man will love!
3. Give him a break.
I know how this may sound. If I read that line when I was in my previous marriage, I would probably be giving my computer the finger right about now. But, trust me! I’ve been through the bickering, the “tit for tat” crap. It blows. Why is it that we are so cordial with strangers and coworkers and give them the benefit of the doubt, but we can be downright evil to the ones we love? It’s crazy. And it’s time we change it. I have been practicing mindfulness and being in the flow state. Where things things magically come together and life is effortless most of the time. I have to say, it has been amazing. I have stopped making the sarcastic, unneeded jabs at my husband because I realize it only made matters worse. I am now aware and think about what I am about to say. (And sometimes I still don’t give a rat’s ass and I say it anyway.) Most of the time though, I just keep mum. It’s not worth it. My comments from the peanut gallery will not help our relationship.
And you know what? My husband has changed as well. We had a great relationship and it is even better now, because our “disagreements” are diffused much more quickly. By giving him a break, he in turn is doing the same for me unknowingly.
This has helped with our “arguments” immensely. Check out my post on The best non-fight we have ever had in our marriage for more.
4. Have F-U-N.
Let’s face it, we get caught up in life and everything else we have going on. Focusing on one another can be a challenge. Connection is so important to a lasting marriage. When it is all about the kids, work and the bills, the marriage can really suffer. So carve out time to spend together. Sometimes we will wait to eat until the kids go to bed. We make dinner together, sit at the table and talk for hours. It is incredibly romantic. It is an affordable, fun and effortless option for parents. Take a few minutes and dress up for the dinner date (See tip 2!). It adds a special touch and trust me, he will notice. Take time to re-invest in your marriage by really enjoying each other. It reminds you why you fell in love with your man. Gratitude is so important in creating a happier life overall. I use my daily gratitude log and it is gold. It gets me to focus on the present, the things that really matter and the people in my life I am grateful for. By focus on all the amazing things my man does on a daily basis has been amazing for our marriage. Get your gratitude on and download your gratitude log here. It’s a game changer.
5. Let him be.
I had a hard time with this one. And yes, there are still things I am working on with my man. But they are not character traits. It is more of the bodily functions forum. (I’ll leave it at that.) I know who I married. He is a sports guy. He is also really social. So, why would I change that? Obviously with kids things change, but I don’t want that to take away the things he is passionate about. Our relationship thrives when we both are able to have the freedom to take time and do us. We appreciate each other so much more.
Now, remember, you get more with sugar than salt. Ask yourself, “Would I rather be happy or would I rather be right?” If it is the latter, then:
- I am shocked you are still reading this.
- In my past marriage I was all about being right. And just because you are right, does not guarantee long-term happiness. Yeah, your ego may be happy, but your marriage could suffer. I’m checking ego at the door.
So, there you have it. Men are really not that complicated. If we take care of them and they love us, they will take care of us.
It is empowering to take the first step!
What are your tips to keep your man? Sharing is caring! Comment below and let us know what works in your world!
If you are ready to take action to create the life you deserve, I invite you to schedule a discovery consultation with me. We can get clear on where you are, where you want to be and I’ll provide strategies to close the gap. It’s magical.
Sending you tons of Love & oodles of Light!!