Last Sunday our pupply was hit by a car and died. As I type these words, I am still in disbelief. I am a firm believer of the mantra, “Everything happens for a reason” and finding a reason for this was damn hard. Here is how I dealt with the loss of our puppy.
When it happened, we were all outside in the backyard. It was a sunny and beautiful day in Los Angeles. The girls were having fun, playing in their tree house and Tiggy was running around, playing with them and getting into my veggie garden.
When we didn’t see his cute little face, we started calling his name. All the sudden, I had a pit in my stomach. I ran outside to the front of our house and I saw him laying on the street, with a puddle of blood by his tiny head. I let out a blood curling scream. Michael and the girls ran out. I blocked the girls and took them to the backyard. My oldest, Devani knew and was crying uncontrollably. Bryanna, our 2 year old knew something happened. I was holding them tight and as I looked up, I saw my husband’s face. He was in tears. And I knew we lost our beloved puppy.
My mind was racing. I had so many emotions go through me, it was overwhelming. I had to get my mind in order. I knew I had to process this, so I could fully be present and help my family.
1. Release Blame.
When my husband went to pick up Tiggy from the street, his lifeless body was still warm. The driver that hit him was in tears. Her 10 year old son was with her. When I heard that, my first reaction was empathy. I could not imagine what she was going through, knowing her car had hit and killed our puppy.
I instantaneously forgave her in my head and sent her family an abundance of love.
2. Let Go of the Guilt.
My mind was racing, “What could we have done to prevent this? How did we let this happen?” There was so many things we could have done in hindsight, but that is all infamous “Coulda Woulda Shoulda”. I have lived in the land of guilt for many, many years.
Guilt and worry landed me in the hospital with ulcers. To me, guilt is the easy way out. The tough choice is to forgive yourself. The amazing part of forgiveness is that it enables you to see clearly and release a huge weight off your shoulders.
Guilt is a wasted emotion. Choose forgiveness. If God can forgive us, why is it so freaking hard we forgive ourselves? We are not perfect. We are human.
3. Find the lesson.
This step was really freaking hard. I was racking my brain, searching for an answer. When I couldn’t find one, I stopped obsessing. I reminded myself to take a deep breath and clear my mind.
In my relaxed, I remembered what my Mom told me when our kitten died. “Sometimes our pet knows something bad is going to happen to their family, so they sacrifice their life for their owner’s.”
That comment has always resonated with me. I started searching for what the “something bad” may have been. All the sudden, I got goosebumps all over.
We live on a busy street. Our front yard is pretty secure, but there are a few things that need attention. It was always on our “to do” list, but then life happened and other things took priority.
Not anymore. The next day I called our handyman to fix our front gate, add a lock to our screen door and get an estimate to add another side to our gate to completely secure the front yard. We also have contacted the city last year to add street lights, so I asked my husband to follow up with the city. Doing everything in our power to prevent this from occuring again led to peace in my soul.
Finding the lesson and knowing Tiggy’s death was not in vain is what keeps me going. It gives me the strength to support and be there for my family.
We talk about Tiggy all the time. We remember all the funny things he did and how he loved us unconditionally. In the little time we had him, he made his way into our hearts and taught us invaluable lessons.
Yesterday was history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift, that is why it is called the Present. Savor it.