Tag Archives: manifest

How I am Coping with My Husband’s Heart Surgery

Being a Mommy & wife is freaking amazing and at times, equally as tough. We found out recently my husband needs a heart surgery asap. He is in the process of donating his own blood for the surgery. The surgery is scheduled for 3 weeks out, when his blood levels are back to normal. He is at risk for an aneurysm, so he has to watch his blood pressure and heart rate prior to surgery. As a result, he cannot workout, or lift anything over 20 lbs, which includes our toddler (who is in midst of potty training) and frequent trips to the “timeout” chair. Good times for Mommy! Here is my experience on how I am coping with my husband’s heart surgery.

How to Deal with a Loved One's Surgery

My husband, Michael is 37 years young. He was born with a defective aortic valve (Which is ironic since he has the biggest heart of anyone I know). He had an open heart surgery at the age of 1. As a result, he goes to a cardiologist to get checked yearly. The surgeon said that he would need another surgery to replace his valve around the age of 16. He has been able to make it this far without needing a surgery. About 10 years ago, he went to UCLA to get checked and they recommended surgery asap. He went to get a second opinion and we are so glad he did. He found the best cardiologist in Los Angeles, Dr. Judelson. She told him he was fine and continued to monitor him. I’ve gone to his appointments for the past 5 years. This time, I knew there was something amiss.

When she looked at us and told us “It was time”, my heart sank.

I knew his valve needed to be replaced eventually, but all rational thoughts went out the window as she continued to speak. Frankly, it was all a blur. Instantaneously, I buried my emotions deep within and brought out my superhero cape. I knew that it was time to be strong for him. Michael is the strongest man I know. He is my rock and always there for me. It felt great to finally be able to give back and be a support system for him.

Being strong for him & our 2  girls while suppressing my feelings was really, really tough.

I felt like I was Superwoman, with a bag of kryptonite on my shoulder.

I’ve always been the “Silver Lining Gal”. I am known to find the positivity in everything. As a matter of fact, that was my secret weapon to get through my childhood with most of my sanity in tact.

As a kid, I was taught to be tough. Being emotional and crying was a sign of weakness. I was told people would not listen or take me seriously when I was emotional. In my adolescence and through my twenties, I would not let anyone too close to me. I would be the one that would end a relationship first, so I would not get hurt. I would never let myself cry – and when inevitably, I would shed a tear or two, I would beat myself up and “toughen up” to be that strong, powerful women that I thought I should be.

Then life happened. After a breakdown, I realized vulnerability is where you unlock your highest power. When you are able to fully express your feelings, you can  release them on your own terms. If you bury them deep within (like I had so many times in the past), those unprocessed emotions will come out in other ways. From road rage, to passive aggressive behavior, to overreacting at seemingly insignificant things, they will ALWAYS find a way out. The thing is, the longer we hold on to negative and painful emotions, they become toxic. It makes us weaker.

With my husband’s surgery, my immediate reaction was to bury all of those feelings and thoughts of the worst case scenario. I focused on positive thoughts and visualization. The problem was that I was not able to get into the right vibrations – which is one of the secret ingredients to manifesting.

The other night, I let myself fall apart. I embraced all of my deepest fears.

I let my mind go to the dark place it needed to go. I was the most vulnerable I have ever been. Once I was able to get deep with my fears and emotions, I was able to go through the fear and see the other side.

It was amazing to process and release the fears, anger and anxiety. Afterwards I felt so much lighter and stronger than before. I filled out my Gratitude Log and felt free. I can now access the highest vibrations and visualize our life 3 months from now, which is one of the secrets to creating the life of your dreams.

Be the change you want to see in the world

Don’t get me wrong, I still have thoughts that will pop up in my head. Instead of ignoring them, I process them and am able to move through it quickly.

And yes, every once in a while I get freaking annoyed when I’m cooking and Michael cannot help Bryanna go to the potty. Or when I am in the middle of something and he can cannot get her in and out of the crib. BUT as soon as the emotion comes up, I have learned to remove it and replace with positive emotions. It’s awesome.

Michael’s surgery is coming up soon. We are practicing meditation, visualization, being present and living in the moment. Being vulnerable with each other has brought us even closer. It reinforces the fact that life is precious. We have come up with positive things that are coming out of this experience. I know, it may sound crazy, but it’s true!

When we understand Life happens for us and not to us, that is when we can start to see the magic all around us.

 

Sending you love, life & positive vibes!

-Xx

Indrani

3 Simple Strategies to Overcome Guilt

Guilt is a wasted emotion. I wish I could banish it from the universe. Why? Because guilt can eat away at you. I suffered my ulcers with I had feelings of guilt, stress and worry. That’s when I got serious and started to look for ways to handle negative emotions in a positive way. Here are my 3 Simple Strategies to Overcome Guilt.

1. Get Out of Your Head.

We are our worst critic! As women and especially Mom’s we have these crazy high standards for ourselves. We need to be easier on ourselves and realize that we were not born to be perfect. We are perfectly imperfect! So, when you have feelings of guilt, ask yourself, if you best friend came to you with the same situation, what advice would you give her? Would you tell her she was a horrible person and was justified for her guilty feelings? Or would you reassure her? If you select the latter, then you are like most mom’s. We give empathy and love to everyone else, but we are so tough on ourselves. Well, from today, let’s change that! The advice we give to our friends, we need to give to ourselves. So, give your a break and the benefit of the doubt. Focus on the things that make you amazing!

How to Overcome Guilt

2. Transform it into a Positive Inspired Action.

This is my fav! Take those pesky guilty feelings and turn it into action! Let’s say you missed an event at work & your little one is bummed. Take a step back and see what steps you can take to ensure you can attend the next event. For instance, do you have simple, effective systems in place to create time for the most important things in life? If not, now is a great time to incorporate that into your life. Another inspired action is to take your child out and spend some one on one time together. No electronics and be present. Kids are so darn entertaining and it is such a great opportunity to take a break from everyday life. So turn those guilty emotions into action and create fun memories. Talk about a Win/Win!

3. Future Map It.

Close your eyes and visualize your life in 5 years. This event that you have guilt feelings over, does that play a factor into your future? If the answer is no, then there is no point fussing over it now! This really is effective in putting things into perspective.

So, there you go. You are hooked up with 3 Strategies to Overcome Guilt. I use this all the time in my life as well as my clients.

I’d love to hear your comments on the strategies and your tips you use to overcome guilt! Sharing is caring!

Sending you tons of love & oodles of life!

– Xx

Indrani

Be You. Everyone Else is Taken.

Bruce Jenner

I watched the Bruce Jenner documentary last night. I was in tears. I could completely empathize with his feelings. Feeling like you had to be someone else and not be you is gut wrenching. Bruce Jenner threw himself into sports to avoid the conflict he had inside. He excelled and broke world records. Even though he was known as “The Best Athlete in the World”, he was still unfulfilled inside. When he spoke about the famous picture during the Olympics after receiving his medals, he said it was bitter sweet. He knew that he now the Olympics were over, he would have to deal with his internal battle. Although I did not deal with gender identity, his story hit close to home. I was trying to fit in by blending in. Bruce Jenner reinforced the reality to

Be You. Everyone Else is Taken.

Just imagine for a moment. Imagine you are 65 years old, have a huge family, with kids and grandkids. Although you loved them dearly, you hid a huge secret. You hid who you were at the core. You couldn’t share with them who you really were because you did not want to hurt them. In my life, I felt this way because I grew up in Pennsylvania in a predominantly Caucasian demographic. I was so different. From my name, to my dark complexion – I felt like an outsider. When my first grade teacher attempted to promounce my name, I quickly corrected it to “Annie”, my childhood nickname. And I used my nickname all through college. When I was in my late 20’s, I had an incident that rocked my world. I walked by a mirror and caught a glimpse of myself. I stopped and look a closer look. I didn’t recognize my reflection. It shook me to my core. For the next 8 years, I was on a path – a mission to find myself and just be me. I ended my marriage. I manifested my soulmate as divorced Mom. I left Corporate America after 16 years to fulfill my purpose in life. I have realized all of my experience in my life has given me the knowledge and expertise to help others. I help others manifest a fulfilled life with time for passion, self-care and presence through strategy and mindset.

When I watched Bruce Jenner’s journey, I looked back on my path. I was filled with emotion. When I made the decision to be my authentic self, I made huge changes that impacted the people closest in my life.

I am proud to say that my daughter is so much happier as a result of my life choices.

I can show them they can have it all. I am living my life on purpose and they see that everyday. They know they can do anything and be anything. Always remember to Be You. Everyone Else is Taken.

Sending you tons of Love & oodles of Light!

-Xx

Indrani

How I Got Out of My Own Way

How to Get Out of Your Own Way

I was sitting in a 3 day seminar with butterflies in my stomach. Ever since stuttering as a child, I always had a fear of public speaking. Something made me raise my hand.  When I was called, I went up to the microphone to state why I was there. As I walked up, I had no freaking idea what I was going to say. When I took the mic, I blurted out “I want to get out of my own way”. I didn’t even know what that meant! I was shocked to get so much applause. As I was giving people hi-fives on the way back to my chair, I started my path to self discovery. Here is my journey on how I got out of my own way.

I have always had a plan for my life. I wanted to be in control and know what was coming. I planned out the milestones in my life to a tee.  At the time, I thought I will brilliant and discovered the secret sauce. I mean, I had it all! The husband, daughter, dream home and good job, all at the age of 28.

I had life figured out. Until I didn’t.

I realized all of huge decisions I made in life was out of fear. I didn’t take chances or risks because I did not want to get hurt. I didn’t want people to know that I never felt like I fit in. So, I played it safe. I wanted to know the outcome, so I tried my damnedest to control life. The funny thing is, by trying to control everything, I realized that I shut my intuition out.

The statement “I want to get out of my own way” was my catalyst to take a deep dive internally.  Life is funny. I tried so hard to not let my past impact me because I never wanted to be the victim. I didn’t realize that my perspective of my past had such a huge impact on my life decisions. I learned to let go of my need for control & I gave into my fear. Check out this post to overcome fear now. I was dedicated to change my “story” of my past. I never felt so vulnerable and powerful at the same time. It was life changing. Here are the 3 things I did to get out of my own way.

1. Uncover Your Intuition.

In another seminar, I asked a question to the facilitator. “I don’t hear my inner voice.” He responded, “You need to quiet the mind”. This seemed impossible to me! For as long as I could remember, I was a mind racer with a million thoughts running through my head. It made it hard to focus during the day and at night was worse. But, I trusted Mel and took his answer to heart. When I taught myself to quiet the mind, I could hear my inner voice. Check out this post on how I uncovered my intuition.

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2. Boost the Confidence Factor.

Confidence is key. Once we have the answer, we need to be bold and have the confidence to take action. Confidence & action is key to getting out of your head. For tips on boosting your confidence, check out this previous post.

Confidence

3. Give It Up to Gratitude.

Although gratitude is currently on trend, it is here to stay. So many of people, especially us A-type personalities, tend to think about the future. I thought I was being proactive because I was on top of things. Now that I practice gratitude and have systems in place, I can be present because I know I have the future covered. Here’s the gratitude log I use.

Daily Gratitude Log

When I adopted the above 3 strategies, I hit my sweet spot. Things came into place. I manifested my soulmate as a divorced Mom. We have our dream home in Los Angeles. Most importantly, we have 2 beautiful daughters that teach me life lessons all the time. I left Corporate America to pursue my passion to help others create a purposeful life they fully love.

You can have it all! I am living proof.

I love my life and wouldn’t trade with with anyone in the universe! Isn’t that how life is supposed to be? I can help you do the same.

Book a complimentary discovery session with me now! I only have a few spots per month, so if you are serious about creating a purposeful, passionate life you would not trade with anyone in the planet, contact me today.

Sending you tons of Love & oodles of Light!

– Xx

Indrani