Tag Archives: love

How I Got Out of My Own Way

How to Get Out of Your Own Way

I was sitting in a 3 day seminar with butterflies in my stomach. Ever since stuttering as a child, I always had a fear of public speaking. Something made me raise my hand.  When I was called, I went up to the microphone to state why I was there. As I walked up, I had no freaking idea what I was going to say. When I took the mic, I blurted out “I want to get out of my own way”. I didn’t even know what that meant! I was shocked to get so much applause. As I was giving people hi-fives on the way back to my chair, I started my path to self discovery. Here is my journey on how I got out of my own way.

I have always had a plan for my life. I wanted to be in control and know what was coming. I planned out the milestones in my life to a tee.  At the time, I thought I will brilliant and discovered the secret sauce. I mean, I had it all! The husband, daughter, dream home and good job, all at the age of 28.

I had life figured out. Until I didn’t.

I realized all of huge decisions I made in life was out of fear. I didn’t take chances or risks because I did not want to get hurt. I didn’t want people to know that I never felt like I fit in. So, I played it safe. I wanted to know the outcome, so I tried my damnedest to control life. The funny thing is, by trying to control everything, I realized that I shut my intuition out.

The statement “I want to get out of my own way” was my catalyst to take a deep dive internally.  Life is funny. I tried so hard to not let my past impact me because I never wanted to be the victim. I didn’t realize that my perspective of my past had such a huge impact on my life decisions. I learned to let go of my need for control & I gave into my fear. Check out this post to overcome fear now. I was dedicated to change my “story” of my past. I never felt so vulnerable and powerful at the same time. It was life changing. Here are the 3 things I did to get out of my own way.

1. Uncover Your Intuition.

In another seminar, I asked a question to the facilitator. “I don’t hear my inner voice.” He responded, “You need to quiet the mind”. This seemed impossible to me! For as long as I could remember, I was a mind racer with a million thoughts running through my head. It made it hard to focus during the day and at night was worse. But, I trusted Mel and took his answer to heart. When I taught myself to quiet the mind, I could hear my inner voice. Check out this post on how I uncovered my intuition.


2. Boost the Confidence Factor.

Confidence is key. Once we have the answer, we need to be bold and have the confidence to take action. Confidence & action is key to getting out of your head. For tips on boosting your confidence, check out this previous post.


3. Give It Up to Gratitude.

Although gratitude is currently on trend, it is here to stay. So many of people, especially us A-type personalities, tend to think about the future. I thought I was being proactive because I was on top of things. Now that I practice gratitude and have systems in place, I can be present because I know I have the future covered. Here’s the gratitude log I use.

Daily Gratitude Log

When I adopted the above 3 strategies, I hit my sweet spot. Things came into place. I manifested my soulmate as a divorced Mom. We have our dream home in Los Angeles. Most importantly, we have 2 beautiful daughters that teach me life lessons all the time. I left Corporate America to pursue my passion to help others create a purposeful life they fully love.

You can have it all! I am living proof.

I love my life and wouldn’t trade with with anyone in the universe! Isn’t that how life is supposed to be? I can help you do the same.

Book a complimentary discovery session with me now! I only have a few spots per month, so if you are serious about creating a purposeful, passionate life you would not trade with anyone in the planet, contact me today.

Sending you tons of Love & oodles of Light!

– Xx


Now That You Got Him, How Do You Keep Him?


How to Keep Your ManEarlier I wrote an article called, “How I Manifested My Soul mate As a Divorced Mom.” When it was published via The Elephant Journal, I was flooded with comments from other women that went through the same thing I did, OR they were stuck in their situation and my words gave them inspiration and hope that they, too, could manifest their soul mate. It was a life changing moment for me. I was moved to tears when I realized my story was able to touch so many women. If you haven’t seen the article, check it out here.

So. You’ve manifested your soulmate. Now that you got him, how do you keep him?

This is a loaded question that really needs to be discussed. With the divorce rate and extra martial affairs at a staggering rate, it’s a smart idea to be real and take action.

1. Give it up.

Men have needs. And if those needs are not being met at home, where are they being met? Now, I am not saying that he is cheating, but I am saying that most men have a pretty good sex drive. So, even if he is not cheating, how happy is he? Yes, men can take care of themselves, but after a while, that gets old. So, give him some attention, make him feel appreciated and valued for all the things he does. And of course, give him some good lovin’! Don’t believe me? Check out this article about why men cheat. And, let’s not forget, this is all good for you as well. Research shows people that have sex 3-4 times a week are happier and more successful in life!

2. Give him something to talk about.

Men are visual creatures so work it! I want my husband to find me just as attractive as when we were dating. Now, I am not getting dolled up daily, but you bet your ass I am wearing comfy and sexy clothes that show off the goods. I flirt with him daily. And he loves it. He is all over me 24/7. I love it. It keeps it fun and playful. He, in turn, is motivated to look good for me. We have as much chemistry as we did 16 years ago when we were dating. It’s rad! Our daughters get grossed out with our affection and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So, toss those old sweats and invest five minutes a day to get it together. And you know what? You will feel better too! Need a little help? All of the pieces in the Effortless Life Boutique are comfy, chic & quality essentials that you and your man will love!

3. Give him a break.

I know how this may sound. If I read that line when I was in my previous marriage, I would probably be giving my computer the finger right about now. But, trust me! I’ve been through the bickering, the “tit for tat” crap. It blows. Why is it that we are so cordial with strangers and coworkers and give them the benefit of the doubt, but we can be downright evil to the ones we love? It’s crazy. And it’s time we change it. I have been practicing mindfulness and being in the flow state. Where things things magically come together and life is effortless most of the time. I have to say, it has been amazing. I have stopped making the sarcastic, unneeded jabs at my husband because I realize it only made matters worse. I am now aware and think about what I am about to say. (And sometimes I still don’t give a rat’s ass and I say it anyway.) Most of the time though, I just keep mum. It’s not worth it. My comments from the peanut gallery will not help our relationship.

And you know what? My husband has changed as well. We had a great relationship and it is even better now, because our “disagreements” are diffused much more quickly. By giving him a break, he in turn is doing the same for me unknowingly.

This has helped with our “arguments” immensely. Check out my post on The best non-fight we have ever had in our marriage for more.

4. Have F-U-N.

Let’s face it, we get caught up in life and everything else we have going on. Focusing on one another can be a challenge. Connection is so important to a lasting marriage. When it is all about the kids, work and the bills, the marriage can really suffer. So carve out time to spend together. Sometimes we will wait to eat until the kids go to bed. We make dinner together, sit at the table and talk for hours. It is incredibly romantic. It is an affordable, fun and effortless option for parents. Take a few minutes and dress up for the dinner date (See tip 2!). It adds a special touch and trust me, he will notice. Take time to re-invest in your marriage by really enjoying each other. It reminds you why you fell in love with your man. Gratitude is so important in creating a happier life overall. I use my daily gratitude log and it is gold. It gets me to focus on the present, the things that really matter and the people in my life I am grateful for. By focus on all the amazing things my man does on a daily basis has been amazing for our marriage. Get your gratitude on and download your gratitude log here. It’s a game changer.

5. Let him be.

I had a hard time with this one. And yes, there are still things I am working on with my man. But they are not character traits. It is more of the bodily functions forum. (I’ll leave it at that.) I know who I married. He is a sports guy. He is also really social. So, why would I change that? Obviously with kids things change, but I don’t want that to take away the things he is passionate about. Our relationship thrives when we both are able to have the freedom to take time and do us. We appreciate each other so much more.

Now, remember, you get more with sugar than salt. Ask yourself, “Would I rather be happy or would I rather be right?” If it is the latter, then:

  1. I am shocked you are still reading this.
  2. In my past marriage I was all about being right. And just because you are right, does not guarantee long-term happiness. Yeah, your ego may be happy, but your marriage could suffer. I’m checking ego at the door.

So, there you have it. Men are really not that complicated. If we take care of them and they love us, they will take care of us.

It is empowering to take the first step!

What are your tips to keep your man? Sharing is caring! Comment below and let us know what works in your world!

If you are ready to take action to create the life you deserve, I invite you to schedule a discovery consultation with me. We can get clear on where you are, where you want to be and I’ll provide strategies to close the gap. It’s magical.

Sending you tons of Love & oodles of Light!!



3 Ways to Improve Your Confidence


Everyone that knows me would tell you that I am oozing of self confidence. While that may be the case now, a few years ago, it was a completely different story. I’m excited to share with you 3 ways to improve your confidence that will Rock Your World. And bonus! It’s easier than you think! Trust me.

Did you know that most women from gorgeous supermodels to CEO’s have dealt with issues surrounding confidence?

Before I get into it, I’ll share with you my struggle with confidence. Growing up, I always felt like I did not fit in. I was different. From my cultural background, to strict parents, I always felt out of place, which negatively impacted my self confidence.

Years later I realized my confidence has nothing to do with other’s opinions of me. It’s my opinion that counts!

Here’s my 3 ways to boost your self confidence that you can implement today.


A lot of the time when we procrastinate about something is usually because either we are scared we will fail or we spin it into a massive project. As a result, we don’t do anything. If the goal feels huge, break it down to bite size pieces and then DO IT.

For instance, one of my client’s goals was to write a book. She has been thinking about doing it for 2 years. She purchased writing instruments and apps and was all ready to go. But when she sat down, the thought of writing a 300 page book was overwhelming. So, she did what most of us do – nothing.

After our conversation, she was able to chunk down her goal into smaller milestones. She committed to writing a page a day. Imagine, if she started that 2 years ago when she had the idea of writing a book, she would have over 2 books written already! Crazy right?

The point is once you take any action, your confidence builds while your fear subsides. It’s a beautiful thing. Taking regular action on your goals is key to build your confidence in a natural, healthy way.

2. Fake it until you BECOME it.

Over the past 15 months I have fully immersed myself in studying the mind, positivity, visualization and manifestation. After thousand of hours of research, seminars, 4 coaching certifications and over $15,000 later, I am a firm believer on the power of the subconscious. Once you can visualize it, your subconscious will make it happen.

Listening to audios and daily affirmations are fantastic methods to create a more confident you. Contact me and I can build you custom audio tailored to your life, goals and dreams. It will increase your self confidence and help you manifest a fulfilled life you love. It’s a powerful thing when your subconscious and conscious are aligned.

I’m living proof.

3. Focus on the positive.

This is mandatory. You see, whatever we focus on EXPANDS. It’s a proven fact. So if you are focusing on negative things, like how you are not confident and how that is holding you back, you need to realize that is hurting you. You will only get more reason why you are not confident, which will lead to inaction, because that that is what you are focusing on. It’s that darn subconscious again!

The good news is, you can get in tune with your mind and begin to catch the negative thoughts about your lack of confidence that run through your pretty mind. These negative thoughts do not serve you. It actually does the opposite. It leads to inaction, which can cause apathy and disengagement.

So replace the lack of confidence thoughts with positive ones. Focus on things that make you feel confident. It works!

Practice the above 3 tips regularly to increase your confidence and I guarantee you will see results! Remember, you need confidence to take chances, learn something new and get what you want out of life.

The last thing I will leave you with…

Basing your confidence on other’s judgement or thoughts of you is basically saying,  “I hold other people’s opinion of me higher than my own opinion of myself.”

Re-read the above line again ’cause it’s really important.

That is ridiculous! No one should have that kind of “jedi” mind control on another person!

I challenge you to take back the power. You, and only you impact your self confidence! Now go on an boost your confidence and share these tips with your loved ones.

Are you ready to build an Effortless Life? A life where you are fully engaged, present and have time for passion and self care? Contact me now for a discovery consultation to create the life you have always wanted.

3 Tips to Increase Confidence

Sending you tons of Love & oodles of Light!

– Xx


My Game Changer: Meditation

How to Meditate in 10 Minutes

For most of my life I have been the A type personality. I have always been the multi-tasker, doing a million things at once. When I was first introduced to meditation, I was instantly repelled.

Meditation was so far outside my comfort zone. Who the heck had time to meditate? I was already so busy with life.

My mind was always racing. Thoughts would fly in and out 24/7. It would take me such a long time to fall asleep every night because my thoughts would compete with each other. And you know what? I enjoyed it – most of the time.

Two years ago I was re-introduced to meditation. I was at a low point in my life. I was fulfilled in many aspects of my life – but something was off. I knew I had to take action. I went to a therapist that practiced alternative methods over medications. One of her methods was meditation.

By this point in my life I have heard so many benefits about mindfulness, I decided to give it another shot. I changed my typical approach from going all in to a more staggered approach.

It took time to find the right guided meditation, music and environment, but it was worth it. Two year later, I love meditating. It is something I look forward to. It clears all the thoughts in my head and when I am finished I feel focused, calm and ready to take on the world.

Take it from me. If I can meditate, so can you! The hardest thing about mediation is waiting for it to get good.

It’s like licking a Tootsie Pop. You don’t know how many licks to takes to get to the gooey, delicious center. I will tell you, meditation (and that Tootsie Pop) is worth the wait.

Here are my favorite benefits that I have gotten out of meditation & other mindful practices:

– I am truly happy

– My anxiety is virtually elminated

– My mindset shifted to a whole new level of positivity

– I see the abundance around me

– I am present and able to enjoy the moment

– Things fall into place effortlessly

Please note: Meditation did not create all of these amazing benefits on it’s own. I have instilled other practices as well that have played a part in my life transformation. I’ll share my other methods with you in future communications.

For now, I would love to share with my favorite resource when I got started with meditation.

 Oprah & Deepak Chopra free 21 day meditation experience – This mediation was a great way to understand the benefits and have a guided meditation for the first part of the audio. The second part is where you can start to quiet the mind and focus on your breath or a mantra.

I would love to hear from you about your journey with meditation!

If you want to accelerate your path to create a life you fully love, contact me for a complimentary consultation.

Meditation Pop of Color Style

Sending you tons of Love & oodles of Light!

– Xx