Tag Archives: how to communicate in marriage

About Last Night’s Screw Up

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So, last night I had an ultimate screw up. I was in the kitchen cooking with the kids, after taking them to the grocery store & playing referee between my 10 & 3 year old. I heard the door open & glanced at the time. It was too soon. I knew something was amiss.

My man does not usually get home prior to 6. As he walked into the kitchen, he looked at me and said “Kidney stone”. I rolled my eyes and said “Really?”

Bad move. I finished making dinner & my man offered to do the dishes and clean up. I resisted a little & then I let him. As I went into my room for a few minutes, I was gazing at one of my gorgeous crystals. And it hit me. “I fucked up.”

I went upstairs and immediately apologized to Michael. He then said he noticed my eye rolling earlier. I felt like an ass. I then apologized again & told him how I felt. I was ready for someone to take care of me for a minute. Between my husband’s heart surgery 6 months ago, my daughter waking up in the middle of the night, my man being sick, taking time off my business to spend with the family, I was exhausted. So the last thing I wanted to hear was “kidney stones”.

That’s when I caught myself. I was making it all about “ME”. How his pain was hurting ME. I was playing the victim.

So, I made it about HIM. For the rest of the night, I took care of the girls, got them ready for bed and was as my husband exclaimed, “The Best Housewife Ever”. < – – – That title made me cringe, but I know what he meant.

Here’s the 3 simple, yet powerful tips you can use when you inevitably screw up.

I have to admit, this awareness & mindset is a HUGE step for me from the person I was just a few years ago. I am a Scorpio & we are known to hold grudges & stubbornness is our game. I would stay mad for days (I also picked up this habit as a kid, watching my parents). I would always find a reason & justify my point, even when, deep down inside, I knew I was wrong.

That life was exhausting. I would forget why I was mad, BUT still continue to be mad … How insane is that?

The silver lining?? Now I realize all bumps along the way was part of my journey.

It is my story to tell. I did the work & now I get to enjoy my remarkable life. I have a whole new level of happiness that Prosaic cannot touch. Believe me. I tried it. 

It enables me to help my clients in a powerful way to claim their happiness. Their Effortless Life.

Here’s to your Effortless Life!

– Sending You Love, Light & Oodles of Positive Vibes!

Indrani

Are you ready to design a life you are Obsessed with?

I’ve got your back. Set up a clarity call with me. We can get clear on where you are, where you want to be & I’ll give you some recommendations how to get there. 

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The Best Non-fight We’ve Had in Our Marriage

how to communicate in marriage

Last night, my husband Michael and I were hanging out. We were talking about life and I mentioned I wanted him to be more supportive of my business. That statement typically would gone down a long slippery slope. It would have lead to a heated argument. I would end up retreating to our bedroom, asking myself why he could not understand my point of view. But last night was different. Here is the best non-fight we’ve had in our Marriage

As soon as I uttered those words and saw the look on his face, something in my head clicked. I actually listened to understand his perspective, rather than listen to retaliate. When I did respond, instead of justifying my stance, I apologized (and I truly meant it!).

Instead of my typically rebutal, I took the opportunity to tell him how much I appreciate all he does for me, our girls and my business.

I clarified my comment of wanting more support from him. I shared my deepest feelings about launching my coaching business. The liberation and rawness of being authentic. The reality of being judged for putting all my stuff out there. I explained how my voice was filtered most of my life in Corporate America and growing up in a strict household. I told him how amazing it feels to have found my voice and ready to share it with the universe. As a result, I put my heart and soul into every post I write, every time I connect on social media. I told him it tugged at my heart that I had to ask him to read my posts and share his opinion with me.

And although we have had this conversation in the past, for the first time, I knew he got it. He heard me.

He then talked to me about his concerns about my business. He mentioned how I get excited about possibilities and want to pursue all of them. As he continued to speak, I got in tune with my feelings. I felt my wall starting to build up. My ego wanted to push back on him and defend my position. For the first time, I was able to shove my ego aside and shut my piehole (mouth) and listened. When he was done, I showed him the things I am working on and how they all intersect. I took the opportunity to share my strategic plan with him.

During our conversation, I floated outside my body and looked down on our beautiful living room. I saw a happy married couple in love and having a passionate conversation in a calm, heartfelt way.

I felt so connected to Michael and I had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude wash over me. It was euphoric – especially after! Just sayin’.

Have you ever floated outside of your body? It happens to me from time to time. It is wonderful. It gives me another perspective of the situation, devoid of ego, emotions and personal agendas. I could go on and on …

This was definitely the best non-fight we’ver ever had. We were able to talk about some touchy subjects that have been on our minds. In the past when our conversations start to get intense, my natural reaction is to shut down and retreat. I convinced him (and myself) that I would do this because I needed time to decompress, but let’s be real.

Most of the time my ego was bruised. I was not getting what I wanted out of the situation, so I would flee.

But this time was different. I was able to keep my ego at check. And do you know what happened?

It enabled me to listen and be able to really, truly understand his feelings. It led to him being open to listen to my feelings and understand my point of view.

It is a magical thing once you are in tune with yourself. You can quickly make changes and re-route the path to lead to a better outcome. It is a game changer.

We only live once. But if we do it right, once is all we need.

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If you are tired of just getting by and secretly dream of the good old days – I get it! I was there. I then took action to take charge of my life. I learned the hard way with thousands of hours of research, coaching and seminars. I invested in over $15,000 in myself. You know what? It was worth every single penny! I have now created systems to streamline the process to create an Effortless Life for you. Contact me now for a discovery session. We will get crystal clear on where you are and where you want to be and I’ll give you tips on how to fill the gap. You deserve it.

Sending you tons of Love & oodles of Light!

– Xx

Indrani