Not until we are lost … do we begin to find ourselves. This is a powerful statement. I interpret it as this. We go through life, creating intentional goals and as a result, we have a pretty good life. As we reach one goal, we create another. And then Boom. Something happens. An accident, a health condition, a life event, a breakdown, a huge miracle … something that changes everything. It rocks our world. We start to see things differently. We ask more questions. It’s like unlocking a new level on a video game one of which was Super Mario Bros – loved Luigi. It shifts our reality and see things in a new way.
Back in 2013, life was a constant struggle. I was 35 and I had so much going on. Life was good. . I married my soulmate which I manifested as a Divorced Mom. I had 2 amazing girls. We bought our dream home, while we were in escrow on another home. I had a great job in corporate America and a growing interior design business. Everything was great.Until I had a breakdown. Here’s My Path to Having it All – The Grounding Phase.
As things started getting more hectic, I started to do research on attaining balance. I was bombarded by all of this meditation and mindset mumbo jumbo. It went through one ear and out the other. I though, Sorry, I WISHED I had the time to meditate and think about nothing. I was a busy Mom, working in Corporate America AND managing an interior design business. The thought of sitting there and thinking about nothing felt as fun as watching paint dry.
So, I just continued to run my life in overdrive in all areas. I would give my all at work. Come home and take care of the kids. Then work on my interior design business when they would go to bed. Fall asleep with my laptop around 2-3am and the wake up a few hours later and do it all again. I kept on taking on more projects, accepting new opportunities and life was good. Until I had a complete breakdown.
Transformation, Spiritual Awakening happens 1 of 2 ways.
1. Lighting Bolt.
It’s kind of like Love at First Sight. People have stated after an accident, sickness or near death experience, they received inspiration that created a new perspective, a different way of seeing things.
2. Flashes.
This way is more common. It happens as moments of clarity. When it happens for me, I get butterflies in my tummy and slight goosebumps. It is divine. As we continue on our path to divinity, the flashes of inspiration comes more often, like waves in the ocean. It is a magical thing.
I had a combination of both. I have had flashes since a child, but recently, I have had Lightning bolts which have taken me to higher levels.
If you are ready to begin your path to Having it All, set up a complimentary discovery session with me. Together, we get clear on where you are now and where you want to be. Then, I’ll hook you up with a couple recommendations how to get there. It is sooo worth it, speaking from experience!
So, back to my path. I had a breakdown (for the 3rd time at the age of 35). It happened quite suddenly. I was recovering from a very stressful family weekend. I found myself 2 days later alone in the house for a few days. My kids were with my parents and hubs was on a work trip.
I went to work and a few hours later a migraine hit me like a ton a bricks which should have been my first sign. I could barely drive home. I was so exhausted, I literally stayed in bed for 3 days straight. The weird thing was, after all of that sleep and downtime, I felt even more exhausted. I was positive this was some type of flu or virus.
Reflecting back on my life, I only got migraines a few times in my life. They would always happen when I was physically, mentally and emotionally depleted.
When I was not getting any better, I went to a Dr. She understood my concern and we started doing a ton of tests from endoscopies, to seeing specialists, oh yeah and allergy testing and let’s not forget the overnight sleep study. I would wait for the results, convinced that there was something physically wrong with me. As each one came back as “Negative” which was a “good” thing, there was a part of me that hoped something would be “wrong” so I could fix it and get back to my life.
When they ruled everything out, my Dr. looked at me. She suggested I see one more specialist. A therapist. She then proceeded to blow my mind. She told me her diagnosis. When she mentioned the word “Depression” I think I lost consciousness. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. As she started telling me how she got to the outcome, I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. Which was odd as well, since I never would cry. She asked me if I would be open to taking a low dose of antidepressants. I said “No way, but I would look into therapy.”
I drove home in shock. I was baffled. I mean, how could I be depressed? I had so much to be grateful for. I manifested my soulmate as a divorced Mom and our 2 beautiful daughters were amazing. We bought our dream home in Los Angeles & I had a great job. I thought, how the hell did I have a right to be depressed?
As I started to research what depressed really is, I knew my Dr. diagnosed me correctly. My emotions hit me like tidal waves. I felt humiliated. I felt guilt wash all over me. How did I have a right to be depressed? I had such an amazing life. So, like usual, I buried the guilt and started to do research.
I found a therapist and in our first session, I realized this path was going to be difficult. I needed to go through my past and open up memories that I locked away. I had to go through experiences, memories and emotions which created the belief system I had. In that moment I knew I needed help to finally deal with all the crap of my past. I begrudgingly filled my prescription for antidepressants. I rolled up my sleeves and started to do the work, which ultimately unlocked the next level of my path. The Opening Phase.
Sending you Light, Light & Oodles of Positive Vibes!
– Indrani
Read more on the next step to Having it All here.
