Tag Archives: depression

My Path to Having It All: Stage 2 – The Opening Phase

Path to Having it All - Opening PhaseThis saying is so freaking rad.Our power is our ability to choose our feelings, which control everything! It reconfirmed my belief to keep going down the path to Having it All.The Opening Phase in the Path to Having it All was amazing. I started to realize that I – not anyone else was getting in my own way. I had no idea what that meant, but I was curious and excited to explore more. I was open.

At the opening phase, it is all about being aware you have filters from you past experiences. When I entered this stage, I would say all the time, “It is like seeing the world in HD!” It was the same magnitude of when I opened my eyes after Lasik eye surgery. I saw the world in a state of wonder and delight.

I dived into self discovery because I knew I had to find answers. I was sick and tired of just accepting life as status quo. I was over pushing down those soul questions that would pop into my head in the middle of the night which didn’t allow me to sleep. I was so tired of being tired. I was tired of feeling guilty for feeling lack in my life because I had so many things to be grateful for. A great husband I manifested as a Divorced Mom, 2 beautiful girls, our dream home and a secure job.

After being in the Getting Grounded phase, I knew there was more work for me to do to truly Have it All. For more on my Getting Grounded phase click here.

So instead of wallowing in my crap, I started my path. It was the first time I experienced excitement in weeks. In between my therapist appointments, I started to read books like mad. When I got tired of reading, I would take a break and listen to audio books. And then inspiration hit.

I was on Facebook and saw there was a local event going on with female entrepreneurs. I felt a nudge in me, telling me I should go. Being an introvert yes I am an introvert when I am at events where I don’t know anyone I was surprised that I accepted the invitation. Especially in the state of anguish I was in.

I would have done a “no show” if I didn’t have to pay money. So I got ready and went. When I got there, I was so nervous. I did not know what to expect and I didn’t even know the women hosting the event.

But I went with it. I sat next to someone that was amazing. She understood me. She got my struggle. And then, without even looking, I hired my first coach. It was a scary & exciting feeling to invest in myself and believe in a new possibility!

The biggest impact was on my mindset. I discovered my limiting beliefs and how that created an invisible glass ceiling that I never knew existed. It was crazy! I started to skim the surface on how the brain works and how life experiences, my environment impacted everything.

I became so fascinated with the mind, I went to 5 day working seminars to discover more. I was obsessed. It was like crack for the soul. I started to understand how it all worked. It was freakin’ awesome sauce. I began putting pieces together in my life and started to understand WHY I was in the situation I was. WHAT was really in my way. Then I started to learn HOW to get out of it. One of those steps entailed getting off of antidepressants!

If you are ready to open yourself up a world of new possibilities and get on the path of Having it All, set up a complimentary discovery session with me. We will get clear on where you are & where you want to be.

The opening phase on the path to Having it All was bitter sweet. I got the concepts, but I was not sure how to apply it. I would see small shifts and have moments of genius and I would crave for more enlightenment. So I would study more and more.

Then, one day my lighting bolt it, of course, at the perfect time.

Sending you Love, Life and Oodles of Positive Vibes!

– Indrani

Check out my next step of Having it All here.

My Path to Having it All: Stage 1 – The Grounding Phase

My Path to Having it All - GroundingNot until we are lost … do we begin to find ourselves. This is a powerful statement. I interpret it as this. We go through life, creating intentional goals and as a result, we have a pretty good life. As we reach one goal, we create another. And then Boom. Something happens. An accident, a health condition, a life event, a breakdown, a huge miracle … something that changes everything. It rocks our world. We start to see things differently. We ask more questions. It’s like unlocking a new level on a video game one of which was Super Mario Bros – loved Luigi. It shifts our reality and see things in a new way.

Back in 2013, life was a constant struggle. I was 35 and I had so much going on. Life was good. . I married my soulmate which I manifested as a Divorced Mom. I had 2 amazing girls. We bought our dream home, while we were in escrow on another home. I had a great job in corporate America and a growing interior design business. Everything was great.Until I had a breakdown. Here’s My Path to Having it All – The Grounding Phase.

As things started getting more hectic, I started to do research on attaining balance. I was bombarded by all of this  meditation and mindset mumbo jumbo. It went through one ear and out the other. I though, Sorry, I WISHED I had the time to meditate and think about nothing. I was a busy Mom, working in Corporate America AND managing an interior design business. The thought of sitting there and thinking about nothing felt as fun as watching paint dry.

So, I just continued to run my life in overdrive in all areas. I would give my all at work. Come home and take care of the kids. Then work on my interior design business when they would go to bed. Fall asleep with my laptop around 2-3am and the wake up a few hours later and do it all again. I kept on taking on more projects, accepting new opportunities and life was good. Until I had a complete breakdown.

Transformation, Spiritual Awakening happens 1 of 2 ways.

1. Lighting Bolt.

It’s kind of like Love at First Sight. People have stated after an accident, sickness or near death experience, they received inspiration that created a new perspective, a different way of seeing things.

2. Flashes.

This way is more common. It happens as moments of clarity. When it happens for me, I get butterflies in my tummy and slight goosebumps. It is divine. As we continue on our path to divinity, the flashes of inspiration comes more often, like waves in the ocean. It is a magical thing.

I had a combination of both. I have had flashes since a child, but recently, I have had Lightning bolts which have taken me to higher levels.

If you are ready to begin your path to Having it All, set up a complimentary discovery session with me. Together, we get clear on where you are now and where you want to be. Then, I’ll hook you up with a couple recommendations how to get there. It is sooo worth it, speaking from experience!

So, back to my path. I had a breakdown (for the 3rd time at the age of 35). It happened quite suddenly. I was recovering from a very stressful family weekend. I found myself 2 days later alone in the house for a few days. My kids were with my parents and hubs was on a work trip.

I went to work and a few hours later a migraine hit me like a ton a bricks which should have been my first sign. I could barely drive home. I was so exhausted, I literally stayed in bed for 3 days straight. The weird thing was, after all of that sleep and downtime, I felt even more exhausted. I was positive this was some type of flu or virus.

Reflecting back on my life, I only got migraines a few times in my life. They would always happen when I was physically, mentally and emotionally depleted.

When I was not getting any better, I went to a Dr. She understood my concern and we started doing a ton of tests from endoscopies, to seeing specialists, oh yeah and allergy testing and let’s not forget the overnight sleep study. I would wait for the results, convinced that there was something physically wrong with me. As each one came back as “Negative” which was a “good” thing, there was a part of me that hoped something would be “wrong” so I could fix it and get back to my life. 

When they ruled everything out, my Dr. looked at me. She suggested I see one more specialist. A therapist. She then proceeded to blow my mind. She told me her diagnosis. When she mentioned the word “Depression” I think I lost consciousness. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. As she started telling me how she got to the outcome, I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. Which was odd as well, since I never would cry. She asked me if I would be open to taking a low dose of antidepressants. I said “No way, but I would look into therapy.”

I drove home in shock. I was baffled. I mean, how could I be depressed? I had so much to be grateful for. I manifested my soulmate as a divorced Mom and our 2 beautiful daughters were amazing. We bought our dream home in Los Angeles & I had a great job. I thought, how the hell did I have a right to be depressed?

As I started to research what depressed really is, I knew my Dr. diagnosed me correctly. My emotions hit me like tidal waves. I felt humiliated. I felt guilt wash all over me. How did I have a right to be depressed? I had such an amazing life. So, like usual, I buried the guilt and started to do research.

I found a therapist and in our first session, I realized this path was going to be difficult. I needed to go through my past and open up memories that I locked away. I had to go through experiences, memories and emotions which created the belief system I had. In that moment I knew I needed help to finally deal with all the crap of my past. I begrudgingly filled my prescription for antidepressants. I rolled up my sleeves and started to do the work, which ultimately unlocked the next level of my path. The Opening Phase.

Sending  you Light, Light & Oodles of Positive Vibes!

– Indrani

Read more on the next step to Having it All here.

3 Life Lessons My Kids Taught Me

As parents, we instinctively know we should nurture, teach and develop our kids. What I didn’t know was how much I would learn from them. Here are the 3 Life Lessons My Kids Taught Me.


Check out this replay I did on Periscope on this topic!

Perspective is Everything

1. JOY: When I take my 2 girls, Devani is 9 and Bryanna is 3, to the park, I love to watch them play. They have so much fun. The squeals of laughter and immense joy warms my heart. Earlier this week when I was at the park with them, I ask myself a question. “Where does the joy go?” As adults we are programmed and wired to take life seriously. We have more responsibility, but why does that have to limit our joy? The answer is, “It doesn’t!!”

But learning from our children, we can start finding joy in everyday life. From taking a work break to call someone that you know will have you squealing with laughter. Or indulging in a perfect cup of coffee or a piece of really good chocolate. Or immersing yourself in all the amazing things in your life you have gratitude for. Let’s start installing joy into our everyday practices so we can pause and see the beauty in life.

2. CURIOSITY: When my girls would try to figure something out, I would immediately go to assist them and show them the right way to do it. Now, I just sit back and watch them with awe. The way they look at it and come up with their own way using a kitchen utensil is amazing. I love seeing their brain work and use curiosity to figure things out.

We lose curiosity as we get older. It could be from a teacher telling us that we are not smart, or from our parents shutting off imagination. It could be from not asking the question in class because we don’t want to look stupid. Let’s change that. Let’s start answering the question when our kids ask us “why”. Let’s look at our life, techniques and routines to see how we can make things better. Maybe more efficient. Or streamlined. That is where we unleash our curiosity and tap into our genius. How do you think our innovators like Edison, Disney, Einstein & Jobs changed history? They got curious and looked for another way, another solution to make things better.

3. RESILIENCE: Watching my 3 year old mastering the monkey bars is freakin’ hilarious. She is so close to reaching the bar and her tenacity is remarkable. My older daughter is the same way. Our kids have so much resilience. They want to learn things, no matter how many times they fall on their cute booty. If they want to master something, they will get up and try again and again.

As we grow older, we can start losing our resilience. We can become paralyzed because we do not want to fail. We do not want to look stupid. We want to ensure the first time we will succeed. And when we do attempt to try it once, if we do fail, we let that lesson impact our future decisions. That failure is tattooed on our soul and it can stunt our future endeavors. Let’s learn from our kids. Let’s use their resilence to stay on our path to living the life of our dreams. A life we would not trade with anyone on the planet. When we fall, let’s learn from it and transform the “failure” into a “lesson”. We can then use that “lesson” to take try again until we succeed. It’s a magical thing.

Being a parent has been so rewarding in so many ways I could have imagined. I had learned so much from my girls. They have given me so many gifts. Patience, Gratitude, Joy, Curiosity, Resilience, Unconditional Love and so much more.

When I am stumped, stresed, frustrated or depleted, I look to my kids. I submerge myself into their reality. And it is priceless. They fill up my tank. They give me faith. They give me love. And then I can go back to my reality with a new perspective on life.

Sending you Love, Light and Oodles of Positive Vibes!



How to Stop Being Perfect and Start Living a Happier Life

Perfectionism blows. Seriously. The struggle of being perfect is real. Perfectionism can be detrimental. It can stifle your dreams, lead to inaction and cause anxiety. Research shows it can cause depression and lead to suicide. On the other hand, striving to be perfect can be a great thing. It can propel us to go beyond our best. It can break records. It can be a wonderful thing. Perfectionism is thin line. It’s important to know the difference, Here are 3 strategies how to stop being perfect and start living a happier life.

1. Just Do It.

I love the saying “Entrepreneurs are flying the plane while building it.” It is so freaking spot on. Perfectionism can hold us back on doing what we want. Publishing that blog post. Applying for that job. Raising your hand. When perfectionism stops us from taking opportunities, it need to be put in check. Taking action breaks the perfection paralysis and the fear that goes along with it. 

Just Do It

2. Be You.

Growing up, all I wanted to do was fit in. My nickname “Annie” was much easier to say than “Indrani”. My nickname trickled through school, college and into the workplace. When I reclaimed my birth name, it was a proud moment. I accepted myself. I knew I was different and for the first time, I was proud of it. Being authentic to yourself is much more powerful than trying to fit in.

Be You. Authentic.

3. Embrace Imperfection.

We were born to be perfectly imperfect. If we were perfect, we would have nothing to learn. Yeah, it may be cool for a bit, but then the rest of your life would be a snooze fest. Let’s be real. We were put on this beautiful world to experience life. The good and the bad, the ups and downs. We are here to rise when we fall as stronger and smarter beings. It’s a beautiful thing.

How to stop being perfect

Now you know how to stop being perfect, it is time to take action! Once you implementing these strategies in your life, you will start to see huge shifts. Start by taking small steps towards your goals. Embrace who you are. Don’t worry about what others will think. When you stand in your truth and when you are authentic, the right people will be attracted to you. It’s magical when this happens.

Are you ready to make a massive shift to change your life? Do you want to get out of your own way and start living the life you envisioned? Let’s talk. Book a discovery session with me now.

Sending you tons of love and oodles of light!

– Xx


How I Dealt with the Loss of our Puppy

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How I Dealt With Our Puppy's Death

Last Sunday our pupply was hit by a car and died. As I type these words, I am still in disbelief. I am a firm believer of the mantra, “Everything happens for a reason” and finding a reason for this was damn hard. Here is how I dealt with the loss of our puppy.

When it happened, we were all outside in the backyard. It was a sunny and beautiful day in Los Angeles. The girls were having fun, playing in their tree house and Tiggy was running around, playing with them and getting into my veggie garden.

When we didn’t see his cute little face, we started calling his name. All the sudden, I had a pit in my stomach. I ran outside to the front of our house and I saw him laying on the street, with a puddle of blood by his tiny head. I let out a blood curling scream. Michael and the girls ran out. I blocked the girls and took them to the backyard. My oldest, Devani knew and was crying uncontrollably. Bryanna, our 2 year old knew something happened. I was holding them tight and as I looked up, I saw my husband’s face. He was in tears. And I knew we lost our beloved puppy.

My mind was racing. I had so many emotions go through me, it was overwhelming. I had to get my mind in order. I knew I had to process this, so I could fully be present and help my family.

1. Release Blame.

When my husband went to pick up Tiggy from the street, his lifeless body was still warm. The driver that hit him was in tears. Her 10 year old son was with her. When I heard that, my first reaction was empathy. I could not imagine what she was going through, knowing her car had hit and killed our puppy.

I instantaneously forgave her in my head and sent her family an abundance of love. 

2. Let Go of the Guilt.

My mind was racing, “What could we have done to prevent this? How did we let this happen?” There was so many things we could have done in hindsight, but that is all infamous “Coulda Woulda Shoulda”. I have lived in the land of guilt for many, many years.

Guilt and worry landed me in the hospital with ulcers. To me, guilt is the easy way out. The tough choice is to forgive yourself. The amazing part of forgiveness is that it enables you to see clearly and release a huge weight off your shoulders.

Guilt is a wasted emotion. Choose forgiveness. If God can forgive us, why is it so freaking hard we forgive ourselves? We are not perfect. We are human.

3. Find the lesson.

This step was really freaking hard. I was racking my brain, searching for an answer. When I couldn’t find one, I stopped obsessing. I reminded myself to take a deep breath and clear my mind.

In my relaxed, I remembered what my Mom told me when our kitten died. “Sometimes our pet knows something bad is going to happen to their family, so they sacrifice their life for their owner’s.”

That comment has always resonated with me. I started searching for what the  “something bad” may have been. All the sudden, I got goosebumps all over.

We live on a busy street. Our front yard is pretty secure, but there are a few things that need attention. It was always on our “to do” list, but then life happened and other things took priority.

Not anymore. The next day I called our handyman to fix our front gate, add a lock to our screen door and get an estimate to add another side to our gate to completely secure the front yard. We also have contacted the city last year to add street lights, so I asked my husband to follow up with the city. Doing everything in our power to prevent this from occuring again led to peace in my soul.

Finding the lesson and knowing Tiggy’s death was not in vain is what keeps me going. It gives me the strength to support and be there for my family.

We talk about Tiggy all the time. We remember all the funny things he did and how he loved us unconditionally. In the little time we had him, he made his way into our hearts and taught us invaluable lessons.


Yesterday was history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift, that is why it is called the Present. Savor it.

Sending you tons of Love & oodles of Light!

– Xx